Hi guys, how are you feeling? I’ve been wanting to do an official post regarding my situation but I never had the time until today.
As some may already know my dad has been in and out of the hospital since April-May for serious health problems. I along with family members have been looking after him. He just got discharged a couple days ago for the I don’t know how many times already. I lost count tbh. THIS IS THE REASON WHY I HAVEN’T BEEN UPDATING ANY NEW EPISODES FOR MY CURRENT LAKORNS!!!!! I know some people don’t have social media so they’re not aware of my situation so hopefully this post you are aware now. I can’t physically be on the computer translating like I used to anymore but I try to sub here and there when I can. I don’t like being behind either.
Taking care of my dad these past few months have been hard on me emotionally and mentally. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like talking about my feelings much or personal matter overall. I keep everything to myself especially my emotions. It’s even difficult to write this out because I feel it’s personal to me but last month in June (if you remember I had to be offline) I was at a breaking point. My emotions were overflowing (just imagine pouring water in a glass nonstop). I think I developed anxieties along with other mental health issues I didn’t realized I was living with until last month. It may seemed like I was doing fine because I was online most of the time tweeting and fangirling. It was my only way of escape from the environment and situation I was in. I really wanted to pack my bags and leave everyone/everything behind, like I really did but I couldn’t. I lost like 7lbs during those shitty weeks because I couldn’t enjoy the food I was eating. I cried almost everyday in my room because I was feeling hopeless, helpless, frustrated, anger, sad. I cried to strangers when asked how I was doing. I couldn’t even enjoy the things I enjoyed doing. It was just bad.
I’ve put everyone’s needs and feelings before mine which is sometimes bad. I feel like just because I’m quiet and nice people take advantage of that. I’m learning how to say no or to speak up when I feel I need to defend myself. I’m learning how to pause and breathe. I know sounds silly but it does help calm my nerves when I do get anxieties. I’ve actually joined an online community to talk about the struggles and I get to read other people’s struggles as well. It does make me feel kind of better knowing that I’m not alone and there are people out there that are doing worse than me.
If you’re asking how am I doing or feeling, right now I am doing just okay. I wish it was better but it’s not so bad. So I just wanted to write this to let everyone know what’s been happening and if you don’t see any updates of new episodes, or I’m not online as much just be aware of my situation I’m in and be patient and kind. I know some of you guys are, but some of you don’t know or do know but still ask for new episodes so….that’s just inconsiderate :/
Have a good day and be kind to people because you don’t know what struggles they are going through 🙂